Plan B (again)

WEIGHT: 135 (.7)

Today was one of those days that reaffirms my dedication as a mother and as someone who loves fitness.

1) Rush to the gym to make the 10:00 Fast Twitch class. The class that I never miss, the class that I plan on all week and is the only weight training I am getting right now. As I finish feeding Aubrey her bottle in the gym nursery minutes before class is about to begin, I overhear a mother telling the angel of a caregiver that after many diagnoses, they finally figured out her son had staph. "He's fine now...".

I know staph is on every surface of that gym. I know staph is probably on my skin right now. I know that child probably was fine by the time the mom brought him back to the gym. I know that my 4 month old will probably get so sick from my 2 year old and there is nothing I can do about it.

But to witness this child scratch his leg, then touch a toy, I just couldn't do it. The momma gene went off and I just couldn't know what I knew, see what I saw and leave her there. So I packed up and left.....

2).....to go run at 11:00 am, 85 degrees, in my pants and husband's tshirt, with Aubrey (not fond of running too much with her yet), and in the blazing sun. This completely changed my plans for the day because now I had to go change my pants since the poise pad did not do it's job and I had wet down to my knees. The joys of post pregnancy bodies.

I realized today I am still a momma first. I can and will change plans when, in my mind, it's in the best interest of my children. As disappointed as I was to miss that class, the momma voice spoke louder than the wanting to be skinny voice.

In addition, I realized that there is no room for excuses. I could find 89 excuses a day to not work out. If you just stop making excuses, you'll see you can always fit it in.

I also realized that I must really love working out. I have never been able to care so much about my body image that I do very unsafe or extreme things. I love my body right now and don't have enough drive to be skinny to run in the heat like I did today. I did not run today because I thought I needed to continue losing weight or keep on track. Because honestly, I like where I am. I realized I ran today because I love to run and exercise. I love for it to be part of my day. I love the sweat and the energetic feeling afterward. If my motivation was purely to lose weight I would've just stayed home.

It worked out, I actually had a good run, Aubrey slept the entire time, and I took a shower. Something I apparently don't do enough because everyone who saw me afterwards was shocked to see my hair down and in real clothes.

Speaking of 'real clothes'. Finally got up the courage to try pants on. After a baby this is especially hard because the scale may say one thing, but the body says another. Hips, ribs and belly are all spread out a little further than they used to be at this same weight. So you see the scale, think "oh, I wore these pants before when I was this weight", try them on and can't understand why they don't fit over your knee.

Size 10 petite at 135 (.7) lbs. But at least I got them over my knees this time.....