Confessions

You know it's time for a break when:

1) During your workout you legs are aching, you feel like you are going to throw up, you can't lift your arms or pay attention to what you are doing.

And it's the first 3 minutes of class

2) You are getting 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep yet you can't get out of bed and are tired by 7 A.M.

Yes, A.M.

3) You leave dirty diapers and birth cloths around. A complete 180 from the normally obsessive cleaning and picking up behavior.

4) The thought of having to plan an activity, be somewhere at a specific time or travel with the family gives you anxiety.

5) and here's the confession:

For the first time in 4 months you mindlessly eat. and eat. and eat. I do not have 'bad' or 'good' foods. I absolutely feel if you proportion things correctly and plan them around healthy meals you can eat everything in moderation. I also believe if you eat well 90% of the time, but treat yourself 10% of the time, you still lose weight and don't feel the need to mindlessly eat.

Yesterday at 4pm, as I wait for both children to wake and start the chaos of the afternoon, I found myself chowing down on chicken wings and a coke. Standing at the kitchen counter. Add a little popcorn and I was baffled. I had chicken wings the night before for dinner, 3 with a side of caprese salad and some fruit. No big deal. But when you find yourself not planning and balancing the meals, that's when it's time to take notice.

Do I feel guilty about eating without thinking? No, not at all. But I better take notice. I was tired, mentally and physically. I recognize this is not healthy behavior and need to re-evaluate why I was so hungry and didn't pay attention to what I put in my mouth.

Between that and today's pathetic workout. It's time for a rest. Tomorrow will be a day off. No walks, no short runs, no nothing. Except just playing with the kids. This is a short term solution. The long term solution will come in August when I head to a spa. This trip to Canyon Ranch in Miami is how I reboot.

Until then, I will take days when I recognize my behavior is not following the path of the best life that I envisioned.