So much has occurred since the last post but I have not written because I am actually reading a book! A big one! More on that later but I have chosen reading over writing during my free time lately.
It's time, however, to get my bearings again by posting. Life has once again taken a turn (for the better) and it's time to re-evaluate.
This week has been all about temptation. On some occasions I have given in, on others I have resisted. Temptation is at every turn. I am hoping by writing again about the big picture I will resist a little more than give in to.
I had my 3 month followup visit for my OB. My weight (on their scale with clothes) was 142. Follow along now..... Technically I was 144 at my first OB visit at 8 weeks. My goal is 120 because that is the weight I maintained after my first child. I gained about 15 pounds trying to get pregnant with number 2, and gained another 5 in the first 2 months. So... although my goal is 120, it rang loud and clear that I had lost all my pregnancy weight!! (technically).
TEMPTATION: Feeling so good I was tempted to get another piece of GF lemon icebox cake that is only available in limited quantities. As soon as I had in my head I had lost all my pregnancy weight I decided I could use a piece. Instead of eating the entire piece like I had not too long ago, this time I did it right, I took a couple bites and threw away the rest. Temptation averted. (kindof)
TEMPTATION: There is a brilliantly marketed diet pill on the market. It is just the newest thing but the way that's it's marketed, you really believe EVERYONE is taking it. In fact, lot of people I know are taking it. I have a little bag of 'testers' in my night stand right now given to me by a friend. I know I am overanalyzing and over thinking this, but this presents a problem for me.
Of course I am tempted. And I really don't think it's that big of a deal, I have taken things before I had children and don't judge those who do. But after children this presents a dilemma for me.
First of all is the safety aspect. Lots of people thought Ephedra was fine for a while. Do I want my children having to say their mother had a stroke because of diet pills?
Really though, the problem lies within raising a daughter (and son, but especially a daughter). My daughter is 3 months old. She will never know I took diet pills. But in my mind, my job as a mother is to set a good example of a healthy lifestyle. If I can't do it without diet pills, what is that teaching my children? The thought of my daughter ever taking a pill to be 'healthy' or to get to a desired weight or even just to learn how to eat better is heartbreaking.
The thought of my daughter ever feeling the pressure to fit into a certain size jean or compete with the bodies of her friends is even more heartbreaking.
I am not almighty judgement and better than thou. In fact, next week I may change my mind and be taking them. I promise to own up to it if I do. But for this moment in time, I have to keep plugging along because if I don't learn how to do this without pills, how will I ever teach my children how to? Temptation averted. (for now)
TEMPTATION: Margaritas and Mexican. Our fun family night out. Instead of our usual, we opted for a fresher way to do our ritual this week. We went to a restaurant that serves homemade, organic margaritas that you can get without the sour mix and specialty tacos with fresh ingredients. Skip the chips and cheese dip and we had a lovely time without all the grease and fat and guilt! Temptation averted.
TEMPTATION: A book!! A couple blissful weeks got me feeling a little confident. A recent trip to the bookstore and I picked up a paperback I have heard about. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Weighing in at over 600 pages this was quite a goal. I have People magazines from 3 weeks ago I haven't flipped through yet I see my lifestyle getting back to normal and I think I can read a book. It is a great book. I am so tempted to read it every moment I can. After a week I am halfway through and I have realized how relaxing reading can be. Temptation happily given into!
My workouts have become very strong and might I say....kick ass.
Current cardio workouts:
1) run around Chastain Park with double jogger
2) my 21 minute intervals on tm (1 firstname.lastname@example.org, 1 email@example.com, 1 firstname.lastname@example.org)
3) 20 mins with increasing speed every 5 minutes (6.0-7.5)
Fast Twitch class Tues/Thurs/Sat.
I need to get back into the weight room for back issues but still cannot commit to a trainer and specific appt. times. That will be next though.
Although I have my meal delivery program, I don't follow it at all. I am still using them as quick, readily available meals. I would like to devote this week to following them specifically. I cannot continue to lose weight if I do not continue to change my diet slowly.
Just a final note...I don't watch Oprah, at 4 pm everyone wakes up from their naps and it's go time. For some reason the other day the tv was on the station and as I was feeding baby girl I heard 30 seconds of the show. Literally, just this 30 seconds. It was someone giving financial advice but these words (as I paraphrase) caught my attention: We have enough women in this world that are defined by the shoes they wear and the things they have. There are enough women who look to men to make them whole. Let's not teach any more women to behave like this.
I will save this for another post. But the words were so striking to me as I held my daughter in my hands. I never want anyone to misinterpret this blog as I need to lose weight, have nice shoes and get my teeth done to be a whole, complete women. Or even worse, that I need those things to be attractive to my spouse or friends.
This blog is about being strong and powerful and learning how to take care of myself while enveloped in a world of motherhood that can make us forget how to be those things.
Again...that's for another post, right now I'm off to read.....