This entry is very important to me because people keep asking me what I am eating, assuming I am living a life of deprivation and misery. Assuming that they can't lose weight the way I am because they enjoy food too much and don't want to starve. I had homemade mac and cheese and sausage last night for dinner if that shows I am enjoying my meals just fine.
This could be a book (and it is, many in fact). There are so many different layers, history and thoughts on our relationship with food. Instead of trying to sum it all up, I am just going to keep track of what I am doing and why.
I do hope to eventually address this further. There was recently an Oprah I DVR'd on the book Women, Food and God by Geneen Roth that looked fascinating. If only I could watch it more than 5 minutes at a time I may actually have some insight on what has gotten me to this point in my life.
And this point is....after children. My relationship with food has changed drastically after these pregnancies and after having children. Although I have never suffered an eating disorder, I do feel that after children my attitude towards food is healthier than it has been at any other time of my life. But like the exercise, I get there slowly.
Stage 1: Eating whatever foods I ate during pregnancy just in much smaller portion sizes. Anyone can do this.
Anyone can stop at this stage and probably lose weight and feel better.
Stage 2: Beginning to eat at home 90% of the time. Still not the healthiest of foods but just by making it ourselves, by default, it is healthier.
Stopping random bites of food. While cooking dinner, don't take that bite of cheese. Don't mindlessly grab a cookie here and there. Don't reach in the fridge for that slice of turkey or spoonful of peanut butter. And don't just grab a piece of chocolate without thinking.
Still have all those foods (especially the chocolate). But make it a plan, a meal. Know you are going to have the cookie when you are done with your lunch. Plan to have a piece of chocolate. Be Conscience.
Start switching a couple meals a week from a cheeseburger to a grilled chicken salad. Still get the dressing and cheese but start making smarter choices just a couple times a week.
Most people could stop here and still lose weight and feel great.
Stage 3: This is where I am. I have to move up to stage 3 because my activity level is increasing and my sleep deprivation is not easing up. Sleep deprivation + little time to cook = poor food choices. Sleep is the most important thing for our health and well being. Don't get me started about children and sleep habits and the same goes for adults. I realize that I cannot go on for 12 more weeks on bars and shakes. I need more food of substance to keep cravings and bad choices at bay.
Normally, at this stage I would start making sure I have a protein, carb and fat at every meal. Again, not counting calories or macros but just making sure I am not limiting any food that is going to make me crave it later.
But.... Life is still unpredictable and exhausting so I am going to try a meal delivery system. This is only to get me through stage 3 when I should be cooking more for myself during the day but still cannot. Financially, this is requiring me to make some choices. I would love to spend my money on something else. I am choosing proper eating over buying clothes or shoes right now. I did not need to do this before, but the first child was way easier to get on a schedule than the second. I just hope it gets me over the hump until baby girl sleep on a more regular basis and doesn't need to be held quite so much.
So far I have purchased every product myself (if this EVER changes I will make it loud and clear). I have made choices of how I want to spend my money. The meal delivery system I am going to use was chosen because my options were limited.
With Celiac Disease, most delivery systems do not cater to my needs. I found one that I am going to try for 3 days. It is not calorically based, however I have done some math. With my 3 meals/day it looks like about 1200 calories/day. Have you ever seen 1200 calories? It's not a lot.
Remember, the goal is not to lose a lot of weight and gain it back the second I eat a cornflake.
I will be adding shakes, bars, fruits, veggies and probably a coke and chocolate to every days meals.
If I like the food and service, I may post the name of the site and my meals. But I am not advertising for them, I just need something to get me through this transition time. Once life becomes easier with baby girl and I am not missing meals, I will move on to stage 4: protein, carb and fat.
By the way....my margarita and taco salad were yummy tonight. Deprived? I don't think so.