Life has gotten really great. Our day is a well oiled machine that includes big naps at the same time for my 2 children, pool, making cupcakes, a baby that is happy and a clean, organized house. It feels really good after a long 4 months.
But in order to keep that machine running, it's exhausting. Unless someone steps into your day for 24 hours, they will never know how exhausting 'a fun outing of going to the pool' with a 3 year old and 4 month old can be.
I hit a wall on Friday. I wrote about it, then I listened to my gut and rested. As much as I could rest with the kids...meaning, after taking both to an MD appt and making cupcakes and having a playdate that ended up with a house covered in frosting, that was an 'easy' day.
I didn't work out and I ate whatever my heart desired. This was different from the mindless eating I had just done. This was purposeful and planned. The double cheeseburger and fries from Five Guys Burgers was absolutely a plan (eating the rest of my son's was not however).
Saturday is a precious day for me. It's the one day I can know I am getting a full workout in. But I listened to my gut and rested one more day. Diet wise, by relaxing on Friday, I was ready and wanting to make smarter choices again. I craved a grilled chicken salad with loads of crisp veggies. I even held the cheese (but kept the dressing). The rest of the day was just normal eating of my packaged meals and no craving anything. Listen to your gut.
Listen to your gut. I am writing this at 2:47 am because I let my momma guard down. For 4 months I have worked to figure out my baby and what she needs when. In my mind, the reason for these 4 months of pain and agony are all for one ultimate goal. To get babies that sleep through the night, put themselves to sleep and nap for extended periods.
And it worked.
We have had our hiccups but for the most part I can go to sleep expecting not to see anyone in the morning.
Until I let someone into my world. The second someone tries to tell me to do something different for whatever reason (either they don't understand what I do, they don't expect me to do it when they are present, or they have their own ideas) it all falls apart and who is left picking up the pieces? Me. Sometimes my husband helps but it always includes me.
The MD suggested we change something. He and I believe in the same book, my sleeping baby bible: Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. So when he suggested I change something around, although apprehensive, I agreed.
Until I had a screaming child from 8-9:30 pm because I didn't put her down by 7:30 like usually do. That lead to a 2 am wake up (and feeding). Which led to me staying awake listening to my neighbors and lead me to writing what is most likely a nonsensical blog post.
Listen to your gut.
You know what is best for your children. Or more so, you know what it takes to get you through the day without wanting to kill everyone around you. Others don't have to understand what you do and they don't have to agree with how you do it.
After completely relating to a fellow blogger, Mothering Multiple Joys, I have realized something very powerful. Everyone expects you, with your children, to enter their world. Until of course the food comes or a diaper needs to be changed or a baby is crying.
I have decided that instead, I am going to live in my world of routines, nap times, meals at home, and listening to what my babies need. Because no one is here in my world when it all falls apart.
This came across as a vent, not my intention for this blog. But at 3 am, not sure it can come across as anything else.
It's now 3:15 am. I am supposed to run the Peachtree Road Race 10K tomorrow morning. And I wonder why I hit a brick wall........
I promise the next blog post will be back to the weight loss journey. I am moving on to another stage next week, wearing real clothes, and overheard a mother talk about a crash diet/diet pill in front of her 13 year old daughter. Oh...there might be another vent.