Saturday, August 21, 2010


If we would just shut up for a moment, the universe usually tells us what to do. Problem is, our thoughts are usually talking too loudly to actually hear it.

Feeling sorry for yourself in this place is just blasphamy. Yet, I did this morning, and in turn beat my self up even more for feeling sorry for myself in this place.

After hearing about the special treament he is getting (without an ounce of solicitation on his part), I cried a little to my husband. I cried because I was desperate to relax, to have the ultimate experience and it wasn't working! I cried because this is my chance to recall what living in the moment and loving myself was and it wasn't working!

I tried all my old tricks, run on the treadmill, lay by the pool, long long dinners. Yet, I was still too tired and beat down to even take yoga this morning. Frustrating. In my head all I could hear was "I am going back the same person I was when I left."

Then I shut up and listened.

I tried the treadmill. I listened to my body and got right off. I decided to head to breakfast. With nothing to read (I have read 5 magazines already and had none left). I had no choice but to listen during breakfast. Just sitting and thinking I decided since I couldn't even relax and handle yoga, I would head to Stretch Class.

Simply Stretch.

Me and the grey haired men. We stretched. The instructor, in a gorgeous Aussie accent, said silky smooth words like "surrender, delicious and delightful." I did, and it was.

10:00 am on Saturday and I finally smiled, relaxed and just enjoyed. Then, instead of the Boxer's workout or Beach Conditioning of my previous trips. I finally committed to Buff Booty Ballet. A class I have drooled over since my initial trip but have never taken.

Nothing like that same Aussie calling us "beautiful ballerinas" (that was a stretch). Add that to a choreographed routine to Beyonce's "Single Ladies" and this middle aged mom of two was giggling with joy.

What has worked in the past was not what I needed this time. This time I needed to just laugh, slow down and enjoy. I am enjoying myself so much now that I tried to to book an extra day and change my flight. It isn't economical but it's my Eat, Pray, Love moment of-it's finally working, I need to savor.

I go to change my flight. She couldn't find me on the 10 am flight I thought I had booked. Turns out, my flight is at 10 pm. This was not intentional but considering my state of mind when before I left, not surprising.

The universe is telling me, I am listening. Instead of incurring the extra cost of a flight change and another night of the room, I have now found an entire extra day that I didn't expect.

I hear you! I promise to use my remaining time wisely. Only doing classes that feel right and good. Taking pressure off of myself to make this a complete workout and relaxation trip and make it a mindful trip. Rescheduling my facial I had to cancel for today for tomorrow at the same time I thought I was to be on a plane home.

The facial thing makes me feel slightly spoiled, but when you proudly wear throw up from head to toe (literally) everyday for 6 months, the fact that this reschedule worked out is heavenly.

So if we just be quiet for a moment, the universe will usually work things out for us. If we listen.

The fact that it was in an Austrailian accent didn't hurt either.


  1. Soooo glad you found what you were seeking on this trip. It almost brings tears to my eyes knowing how hard it's been lately for you. I had a moment with God on my run this morning. He's there still even when I'm not. Just waiting for me (us) to listen.

    Enjoy your extra day.


    Enjoy your extra day :)