Sunday, April 4, 2010

Don't Judge a Fat Girl in Spandex

I feel amazing! My baby is now a month old and from the day she was born I felt like a new person. For 10 months I laid in a recliner and left Klondike wrappers around, not even caring to pick them up before my husband came home. You begin to wonder if this is your true self. If I was just exercising and playing with my child because I had to, not because I wanted to. And once I had an excuse not to be active, I took it. Well.... apparently, I am not a lazy ass at heart after all. From the day she was born I felt the urge to get up and clean, cook, play, walk and be a productive person again. I was giddy with just the thought of it.

And for the past month I have relished in each and every day that I can get out of bed, go for a sunrise walk (with baby of course), empty the dishwasher and make the bed. Heck, even being able to get dressed without fatigue and pain is heavenly! I have come a long way in a month and so I will recap here. I am progressing a lot faster than my last pregnancy but still going through the same routine.

Week 1: Laid in bed all week. Long story...but healing from birth and just loving holding my baby all day.
Week 2: Began walking to the mailbox, end of the street, around the street etc. Abdominal retraining on my side. Something I used to teach others how to do, my body would now not respond and felt like I had no control over my muscles. No Kegals yet-still resting that.
Week 3: Began walking a 2.5 mile hilly walk. Heart pounding, sweating, took an hour and a half to complete with jog stroller. But listening to my music, watching the sun come up and drinking a red bull is heaven. Began supine abdominal retraining, straight leg raises (can only do 10) and modified yoga stretches.
Week 4: Made it to the gym!! 20 mins on the treadmill, ran/walked. More like ran/stood on the sides to catch my breath every minute. But I am trying. Probably only ran 5-8 minutes total.

So here is where the Don't Judge a Fat Girl in Spandex comes in.
Last weight at 39 weeks was : 186 lbs. One month later: 152 lbs.
Here is the thing....body image is all in our mind and weight is relative. Going from 120-152 is uncomfortable and depressing. Going from 186-152, I feel amazing, healthy, dare I say it, skinny (ish). I am wearing clothes that are snug but to me feel wonderful. I am not as self conscience and walk with my head a little higher. It takes this process to again remember to never judge someone who shows confidence even though they may be wearing something a little snug. Especially while they are working out. What if they just lost 100 lbs and are proud and excited to fit into those clothes? Like me. I am proud and excited and look forward to continue this journey, even in my snug size large black yoga pants. (which I have in all three sizes).

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